It's Tuesday morning and we still have to race a set of 1000 m's.
Yesterday I went through one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. The insanely calming high of making the Olympic Team, to the devastating train wreck of my 2010 Olympic dreams. Dreams that I held so close to my heart these last 3 years.
I know a lot of people didn't think I'd be a threat leading into the Olympic Selection, but for me I believed I would be. And well, I was. Claiming 5 A finals and "technically" 2 wins, there is no denying it.
Now on to the race that changed me:
Everything in the last 3 years flooded in my mind as I waited to step onto the ice for the 500 m A final yesterday. The success, the falls, the injuries and the triumphs! In a nutshell though, I was a wreck. No joke, Michael Gilday said afterwards that he wished he could have calmed me down. My heart was racing a million beats a minute, my breathing was heavy and hard, I guess I know how my Mom feels now when she watches me... Haha. But despite the nerves I managed to keep my smile and confidence.
After I had won the start from 3rd on the line, two laps in I was already lost in the moment, in my mind I had already won the race, I just needed to go through the motions of the last 2 laps, maintain my focus. When I crossed the line I lost control and fell. Excitement, fatigue... Relentlessly wanting to win it and declare my victory - I straight up fell.
Unfortunately, it had to happen on the most important race of my life.
So I was disqualified.
I still am having trouble coming to terms with the whole situation. I am the fastest and most consistent 500 m sprinter out there right now, and I'm not on the 2010 team because I fell after the line. Even if I had come 2nd I would be going right now.
I'd like to thank everyone for their unwavering support over the last few months. Especially my coaches Jon Cavar and Al McIlveen, the support staff Paul Hunter and Danelle Kabush for being there for me when I most needed it, my whole family (Thanks Dad and Uncle Ken for being my biggest fans at the trials!) for all of there support, and of course those close friends (you know who you are!). Oh ya and also all yous Euros! Haha!